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February 04 2017

Jeremy Corbyn To Punish 50 MPs Who Defied Party Whip Over Article 50 By Sending Them To The Naughty Step

Jeremy Corbyn has spoken out about the 50 MPs who defied the Labour party whip on the debate to trigger Article 50.

"I know some people think they can defy both me and the will of the British people and expect nothing to come of it."
"Nothing could be further from the truth."

"I have enacted a strict policy of sending all 50 MPs to the naughty step for their lunch hour. This is a step near the cafeteria in the House Of Commons. I want them to sit there and think about what they have done, and why they are there. I fully expect this to elicit full obedience in the future."

Some MPs expressed surprise at the outcome. Ben Bradshaw, MP for Exeter said "Normally when anyone defies the party whip it means expulsion from your position within the party. Looks like we can do what we want though."
Jim Dowd, MP for Lewisham West and Penge told our reporter "I always knew that poof Corbyn wouldn't do a thing. Everyone did. Ever since the vote we all know for sure now. We've been defying him in the office and in group emails he's CC'ed into. When he said we should respect the will of the people in the Labour WhatsApp group, Mike Gapes (MP for Ilford South) told him "Fuck off Corbyn you square."
"I expect a coup soon Comrade. The Party has to change under such weak leadership." After this Mr Dowd gave a full rendition of The Internationalle before putting the phone down.