February 13 2017
Trump Confirms The Existence Of CIA Weather Manipulation Satellite (HAARP) By Using It To Flood California
President Trump has revealed the long suspected existence of the HAARP weather manipulation technology long suspected to be used by the American government by using it to blast California.
"Yeah, the fake news will tell you it's because the dam was old, yadda yadda yadda," said President Trump speaking to The Daily Online "but the reality is I got sick of them and I've been itching to try out the secret weather zapper after I learned of it. You would not believe some of the toys those secret service guys have cooked up. So I sent them a shit ton of water. A real rain, to wash the dirt off the streets. Which given this is California, means everything and everyone."
Some people thought the flood was caused by the huge amount of Liberal tears that have issued from California since Trump's election, but he brushed this notion aside.
"While that flood would indeed be salty enough to erode any dam, and definitely large enough, this one was me using the space weather zapper."
Asked why he specifically targetted California Trump replied "Well, they've been talking a lot about wanting to secede, a lot of the troublemakers trying to stop the travel ban are from there, and I once had a business deal go sour in 1986 and I never forgot. I never forget anything, and I always get revenge."
"If they want to leave the union so badly, I'll remove them from the union. The union of their soul and their body, sending them straight to hell."
"Yeah, the fake news will tell you it's because the dam was old, yadda yadda yadda," said President Trump speaking to The Daily Online "but the reality is I got sick of them and I've been itching to try out the secret weather zapper after I learned of it. You would not believe some of the toys those secret service guys have cooked up. So I sent them a shit ton of water. A real rain, to wash the dirt off the streets. Which given this is California, means everything and everyone."
Some people thought the flood was caused by the huge amount of Liberal tears that have issued from California since Trump's election, but he brushed this notion aside.
"While that flood would indeed be salty enough to erode any dam, and definitely large enough, this one was me using the space weather zapper."
Asked why he specifically targetted California Trump replied "Well, they've been talking a lot about wanting to secede, a lot of the troublemakers trying to stop the travel ban are from there, and I once had a business deal go sour in 1986 and I never forgot. I never forget anything, and I always get revenge."
"If they want to leave the union so badly, I'll remove them from the union. The union of their soul and their body, sending them straight to hell."
