Although Your Dog Is Pretty Good, My Dog Is The Best Dog

I would be the first to admit, that your dog is an amazing dog. I've never met a dog I don't like, and your dog is no exception. He (or she) is indeed a good boy (or girl). They have a wonderful personality and great floppy ears and a cheeky little face. They are however, still far off from the paragon of dogs, my dog.

Anyone who has ever seen the film John Wick knows the special bond that exists between man and dog, a symbiotic relationship that transcends weaker ties like workplace friendship, or marriage. This may be true, but it still does not influence my completely objective viewpoint that my dog is literally the best dog to ever, or will ever, walk the face of the earth.

He waits at the door when I leave the house and is always pleased to see me. He is always ready for hugs. He has floppy ears that he likes having stroked. See, the picture is all coming together. When he is happy, he actually smiles. He is also a full telepath and can instantly tell me what he wishes with his mind. He's a simple dog, mostly his wants involve wishing to chase squirrels and eat things off the floor.

I am also quite confident that he is immortal so I don't have to have any thoughts of him dying, which is very handy as that would be a tragedy of Shakespearean proportions.