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September 13 2022

Noted Harrassment/Terrorism Forum KiwiFarms Taken Off The Web

The notorious internet terrorism group Kiwifarms has finally been removed not only from the web, but the collective memory of mankind itself. The group's darknet forum for 20 years has harassed an untold number of people for absolutely no reason at all. The site's admin and group leader Joshua "Zyklon" Moon (rumoured to be a distant relative of Adolf Hitler) is now in custody. He is awaiting execution after being convicted by a jury of his peers (over 9,000 bots on twitter) of crimes against humanity, and crimes against any other possible sentient life in the universe. Instrumental in Moon's capture was a trans activist known as Queefals.

Queefals became a target of the white hot hatred of Moon for no reason whatsoever, the same as any target that Moon sicked his demented community on. Queefals was simply going about their life as a brave trans woman, streaming on Twitch to an audience of children and thoughtfully letting them know where they could buy hormones so they could change their gender - an essential healthcare service. The twisted Moon could not bear this act of charity and selflessness and decided to direct his army at them. In a forum post to the community, Moon said "Whoever gets me the address of Queefals gets 1 Bitcoin. Bring me the head of Queefals and I will reward you with 100 Bitcoin". This high bounty got the forum's hackers to work in record time and Queefals computer was immediately broken into, their address found, their identity pirated, their Netflix subscription cancelled, their phone made to overheat and explode, and a live stream of all the cameras in their devices put up on the Kiwifarms forum. Before Queefals was made aware of the intrusion by law enforcement within the next hour, there were already five hitman en-route to their location, gleefully posting about it on the forum.

After fleeing to an undisclosed location Queefals decided to fight back. They hired an illegal Chinese botnet to run Denial Of Service attacks on the website to take it offline. This enraged Moon, who without his forum to release his hate through, started to have to resort again to real life violence. He emailed his best hackers to get the new address -a feat done in under 3 miliseconds, no one knows how. With the new details of where Queefals was staying, Josh rang them up and said "Queefals, I'm coming to kill you, at your address," and then quoted the new safehouse location which we won't repeat here, and continued "I'm going to become obsessed with you, and wear your skin like a coat, the way the ancient Irish did". There was no reason to disbelieve this was true. Moon has been a wanted fugitive for many violent crimes for a decade now, constantly evading capture after numerous acts of violence, usually against synagogues.

Queefals bravely decided to not run this time, enough was enough. They informed the local authorities who sent out the army to wait for Moon at Queefals address. Upon arrival, Moon was recorded screaming "I am a one man genocide" before firing a rocket launcher into a tank, killing all the occupants and also a nearby cat. While reloading he was taken down by a knockout gas grenade the army have called "stinkditch", and taken into custody.

Queefals has now claimed the law enforcement bounty of $100,000 and been awarded a Nobel prize for bravery, which they have said will be donated to charity. The charity they chose is their own, FAGKIDS, which provides essential healthcare services for children by sending them homebrew hormones so when they decide to remove their genitals, they're fully prepared. they are also a highly confidential service, not breaking the trust of trans kids by making sure the parents of the children are not informed. This selfless act shows the depravity of the psychotic Moon in how he chose his targets - only ever the innocent, only ever the pure of heart. Now he is off the street - the world is a far safer place.